As students prepare to return to campuses across the country, of packing, shipping and transporting their young adults to colleges and universities.
The energy and effort involved in preparing to send your kids away to college obscure the emotions that undoubtedly unfold immediately after they檝e left, and the house is quiet. That when the reality sets in: they檙e gone, no longer living in your home, only coming back for temporary visits.
Carey Monroe, Cleary Vice President, Enrollment Management, who is also the mother of two college students, knows this adjustment well. All parents adjust to the new normal of an empty nest, or a less-full nest, at this time of year and now, with the pandemic continuing, there are more unknowns and uncertainties wrapped up in this late-summer farewell.
淩emember, you檝e done everything you can to raise them right from the very beginning,� Monroe says. 淵ou have to trust that what you檝e done will go with them when they leave your home.�
COLLEGE IN A TIME OF COVID
That said, the pandemic 渁dds an extra layer of anxiety� for parents and students alike, which is why it essential to maintain clear communication with your students once they leave. Monroe laughs as she explains her parental tactics: her adolescents only receive their weekly allowance if they call her at least once every week.
淧arents assume that their kids are going to miss them as much as they miss their kids, and they檒l be texting their parents,� Monroe says. 淭he reality is, they don檛!�
Set parameters for regular communication � especially given today public health concerns, she suggests.
CAMPUS QUARANTINE
淭his year, parents are not only worrying about their child leaving home, they檙e also worrying about what if they contract on campus,� Monroe says. 淭hat a valid concern and it so hard as a parent to feel like there nothing you can do to protect your child.
淪till, we have to be the strong ones and support our children from afar � even if they end up in quarantine on campus. Reassuring them that they still made the right decision to go to college, even with what going on right now, is our most important job.�
Many parents worry that their college students won檛 wear masks or maintain social distance from friends, thus making them vulnerable to the virus. The reality is, once your child goes to college, you have to let go of the illusion of control and trust that they will figure it out � whatever 渋t� may be.
淚t time for them to go,� says Monroe. 淧arents have to let them, despite worries. And now it time for parents to readjust their own focus from entirely on their kids to something for themselves.�
IT橲 YOUR TURN NOW
Parents who are sending their kids off to college should focus on two things in the aftermath: finding a hobby and reconnecting with their partner or other prominent adults in their life.
淔or many parents, their whole life was focused on their kids and their activities,� Monroe acknowledges. 淚 was definitely one of them! So now, I have to remember what I love to do and reconnect with my husband. It crucial to take time for yourself and figure out what you like to do for this next stage of life.�
And all the while, it ok to feel what you feel, Monroe says.
淵ou檒l cry when they leave. We all do! Even if it the first two weeks after they檙e gone, that ok. Be kind to yourself. It is an adjustment for everyone � and we all will get through it,� Monroe notes.
